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Well, you're not necessarily evil - but you're pretty bad. Morals are something you don't concern yourself with. You're amoral... not immoral. So, what motivates you instead of ethics? Greed, lust, laziness, anger. The usual bad stuff. Bottom line, you're not trying to be a good person. In fact, it probably never crosses your mind. about me

There are a lot of stupid people out there. - Light Death Note

Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda




If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.

If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it. Brokeback Mountain

Let me get this straight: You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck. - Lucius Fox The Dark Knight

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. - Bella Swan Eclipse

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

Speed dating? No, no, that's like Dante's Seventh Circle of Hell. - Adrian Monk Monk

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - Henry Louis Mencken

In the end, there is no greater motivation than revenge. - Mello Death Note

If you can stay calm while everyone else is running around screaming and panicking, perhaps you need to re-evaluate the situation.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Like missing the perverse forest for the nitpicky trees.

cotton candy for the damned - zeppo

"I find myself suddenly needing to know the plural of the word, 'apocalypse'"

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE! -Tyler Durden Fight Club

Ecstasy. A drug that makes you love everyone. Sounds like Hell to me. - John Waters

See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite, and gunpowder... and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap! - The Joker The Dark Knight

If God isn’t mad at America, how do you explain this? Thundersnow? All of a sudden there’s something called thundersnow. Oh, God is pissed, all right. Today it’s thundersnow, tomorrow it’s sleetnamis, floodnados, and the four snowmen of the Apocalypse. - Stephen Colbert

Peace is a lie; there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. - Sith Code

Your twenties are sort of like driving across Montana. It just keeps going, and going, and the distant mountains of your thirties are far off on the horizon, and they never seem to get any closer. And then eventually you glance up from the roadmap, and dude! They're RIGHT THERE! There's snow! And maybe bears! And-- OH, GOD, IS THAT NORTH DAKOTA?! - ursulav

The lesson here is that dreams inevitably end in hideous implosions. - Ms. Bitters Invader Zim

Dale Smither: Funny, I didn't hear your footsteps.
Sylar: That's because there weren't any.
Dale Smither: That sound, in your heart. What is it?
Sylar: [smiling] Murder. Heroes

Watch out for small, balding men. They come at you with pretty boys then BAM! You're crying your eyes out at midnight. - o0ribbons0o

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

Eventually most serial killers get caught. There's really not much of a retirement plan. - Dexter Dexter

come on, man, you can't tell a catholic that God doesn't exist. i'll go crusades on your ass - digitalbees

Give my regards to St. Peter... or whoever does his job... but in hell. - Captain Hammer Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog

I want you to try this relaxation exercise I use in stressful situations like this. I want you to close your eyes and breath deep. Picture a peaceful mountain and stream. Picture yourself drowning the kidnapper in the stream. You’re taking a rock from the stream and raising it above your head, and with tremendous force you’re bringing... – Fi Burn Notice

biting into heads
is much harder than it looks
the skull is fiesty
~Zombie Haiku~





Lois: What's going on down here?
Stewie: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house. Family Guy

Do I really look like a man with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. - The Joker The Dark Knight

And God said: Let there be vodka! And He saw that it was good. Then God said: Let there be light! And then He said: Whoa - too much light.

Parisini: You can't bludgeon through bureaucracy.
Shepard: I can bludgeon pretty hard.

Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
Ulysses: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated. - Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Light: What was it?
L: Nothing. Just another of Matsuda’s unimportant idiocies
Light: Well Matsuda does have that natural ignorance.
Matsuda: Those two know that we can hear them right? Death Note

“I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly” - Edward Cullen Twilight

"People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That’s my burden, I guess.” - Dexter Dexter

...some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. - Alfred The Dark Knight

I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value. - John Waters

Yesterday was the 7 layer burrito equivalent of stupid. - orobouros

The only real question I have is why, in a building full of cops, all supposedly with a keen insight into the human soul, is Doakes the only one that gets the creeps from me? - Dexter Dexter

Groo: You and I have fought side by side on more than one occasion – Fellow warriors, shoulder to shoulder. By now, my counsel must assuredly hold weight, so I beseech you to heed my words...
Angel: Mmm o-kay...
Groo: "Pomegranate Mist" is the wrong color for this room. - Angel

"She's so anally retentive she wouldn't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture." - Absolutely Fabulous

"Half of this crap is written in some archaic, proto demon cuneiform. And, I don't want to be rude, but the other half I think they just doodled." - Angelus Angel

they are so lucky
that I cannot remember
how to use doorknobs
~Zombie Haiku~

...just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face. - Harry Dresden Storm Front

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

Men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and disposable. - Mrs. White Clue

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal. - Demetri Martin

...say what you want, but I will be taking the cake. - L Death Note

Needless to say I have some unusual habits, yet all these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile. - Dexter Dexter

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch." - Stewie Family Guy

Henriksen: I... shot the Sheriff.
Dean (stares at the dead cop for a minute): But you didnt shoot the Deputy.
Sam: *glares*
Supernatural

Nothing says "Happy birthday, Jesus" like your mom asking you to explain the mechanics of fisting. - topknot

blood is really warm
it's like drinking hot chocolate
but with more screaming
~Zombie Haiku~

Warner Bros. knows that the trailer could be two minutes of Dumbledore singing YMCA and that movie would still make $300M worldwide when it's released. They've got serious built-in audience. - randomoob


made by carmendove

My easy-going nature is gettin' sorely fuckin' tested. - Bill Pardy Slither

“Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.” - Bella Swan Twilight

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think? - Jayne Cobb Serenity

*hugs outside* I love you, kinda-fall. - revhhkitty

Fanfic is warping my brain.

Dean: You know she could be faking.
Sam: Yeah? What do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?
Dean: *nods*
Sam: Dude! You're not gonna poke her with a stick! Supernatural

Cowards die many deaths, the valiant taste death only once.

Give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. Sunshine. - Sam Supernatural

“Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear.” - Bella Swan Twilight

This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode. - Captain Mal Reynolds Serenity

Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies. - Sam Supernatural

Not all men seek rest and peace; some are born with the spirit of the storm in their blood, restless harbingers of violence and bloodshed, knowing no other path."

Never invoke the gods unless you want them to appear. It annoys them very much.

Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy. - Ron Weasley Harry Potter

There's a fine line between an attitude problem and thinking clearly.


made by carmendove

Dean: Planes crash!
Sam: And apparently clowns kill. Supernatural

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

Hearts cannot be broken. They are small and squishy things.

Beware the penguins...

Temp - a mercenary in the war against data processing

Sam: You know, I think this is bothering me.
Diana: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Sam: (Dismissively) No, not that. (Smiling) That's pretty par for the course, actually. Supernatural

It could be worse... You could be on fire.

yeah that whole deathbed thing makes people chatty dreadpiratekurt

I COMMAND ALL TREES AND PLANTS TO STOP HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW! - chaobell

I'm mean, nasty and insensitive. That's who I am. It's what makes me special. Deal with it. - Helga Hey Arnold

pain of the body relieves pain of the spirit

Clean, lemony-fresh VICTORY is MINE - Zim Invader Zim

"Dobby has used it, sir," said the elf, dropping his voice and looking guilty, "when Winky has been very drunk."

Sticky notes of the apocalypse!!!! - Edd Ed, Edd and Eddy

l'shana tova y'all - oliveoyl


by cherry_scar

How come even Dudley/Goyle/Giant Squid has a Ship, but Ron/Trelawney (where the characters are at least acquainted - though they dislike each other, but that never stopped anyone before coughDracoHarrycough - and are at least the same species, for God's sake) hasn't? Something should be done. - pixelbit

Yes, it was big. And ugly. And smelly. But none of that was important, because it was my big, ugly, smelly thing that I had found at the landfill and no one could take it away from me. Unless they felt like it.

When in doubt, poke it with a stick.




Squick. You know you want it.



Its 'cause of you I'm like this. I'm nothin'. I'm nowhere. Brokeback Mountain

The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain. - Karl Marx

I will cheerfully beat you to death. - Bella Swan Twilight

I am one of those bad things that happen to good people.

THERE IS NO BACKROOM AT THE KIOSK! Yes sir, I'll just crawl through the drawer under my register, flounce and frolic through the land of fucking Narnia and find you your stupid obscure catbreed calender! - smu

“Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."

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